It is What it Is.......

D-Day (Night) turned out very well.  Chicken Putanesca was a big success, but I think it needed a few tweeks here and there.  He brought dessert.  Angel Food Cake with fresh, sugared strawberries.  I supplied the whip cream.

Speaking of whip cream, it was ONLY for dessert.  We both decided using it ANYWHERE else would be too messy.....no further description here.

Next day:  home made fresh banana bread + coffee + newspapers.  He left at 8:00 a.m.  So why do I have this empty feeling?  Why do I feel disappointed?  Is this "Friends with Benefits" arrangement simply not for me?  Is it really enough or do I want to share my every day with someone else?  Can I do that again?  Will he always be what he is?  I guess it's time to do some real soul searching.........

However, we've arranged to go away for Fri./Sat. at a casino up north at the end of August.  Great deal:  1 night $59!  Certainly doable.  I guess I'll just enjoy myself for now and the upcoming Fridays until I say 'enough is enough' and move on. Seriously, I don't know what I want.......at this point. 

Sorry this post is such a downer.  In the meantime, a very nice man e-mailed me.  We'll see where this goes....probably no where as they never answer back.  Soooo tired of the games we play..........

D-Day

What did D-Day actually stand for anyway?  D-Day (disambiguation).  Okay.  Back to Wikipedia.  What in the world does disambiguation mean?  Inquiring minds want to know........


Definition of disambiguation:  clarification that follows from the removal of ambiguity.  Okay that tells me a lot!  Geescz! 

am·bi·gu·i·ty/ˌambiˈgyo͞o-itē/Noun

1. Uncertainty or inexactness of meaning in language.

2. A lack of decisiveness or commitment resulting from a failure to make a choice between alternatives.  More »

 

Okay, this could get ugly.  NO MORE DEFINITIONS!!

At any rate, D-Day can also stand for dinner date.....just thought I'd throw that in.

Appetizer marinating in fridge, banana bread baked, chicken cutlets thawing.....things are looking good.  Now to the thing I hate the most......cleaning the house!  Grrrrrrrr!

More tomorrow.....for sure!

Will the Shoe Drop?

Okay.....feeling insecure, unsure and not confident.  In other words, is Tom going to call/e-mail and say he's met someone else?  As you all know, it's happened before.......

He did say he was going to call, but if I don't hear from him by Wednesday night, I'm calling him on Thursday morning.  After all, I have a lot of groceries to buy for Friday's dinner (if it happens) and if he's not coming, I certainly will not use them up.

So why do I feel like this?  Should I just live in the moment and 'que sera sera'?  I guess the second option is best.  I just worry too much.  Is the Friday night friend the best scenario and it's 'as good as it gets' or will there never be another Friday night with benefits?  Let's ponder this for a while........

Breakfast and 911

The salmon turned out wonderful along with the side dishes.  I gotta say, there is nothing like fresh, caught fish!  Yummy!  I brought a lovely Pinot Noir to accompany the fish, but of course we finished the bottle BEFORE we even ate the fish!  My dessert turned out a total disaster.  NOTE to all bakers out there:  NEVER use a cake pan that's not the right size for what the directions call for.  This recipe was an orange bittersweet chocolate cake made with no flour to be made in an 8" springform pan.  Well people, there were no 8" springform pans to be found!  The 9" didn't work.  Instead of my "cake" looking like a "cake" it looked like a chocolate PANCAKE!  Anyway, Tom loved it but he upped my dessert and had made some home made butter pecan ice cream.  More Yummy! 

While waiting for the salmon to cook, we discussed lots of things and we reached an agreement that we will remain friends (with benefits) and we both think it's a good arrangement.  He's actually tired of the dating scene (ahem) and being enthralled with him and gullible at the same time, I believe him.  So we have become Friday buddies.


Back to my place, some more wine and lots of cuddles and kisses......

Next day:  on the way back from walking my dog, I found a woman slouched over on the floor of the elevator.  I rushed up back to my friend; he ran to the elevator and I called 911.  The paramedics were there in no time and luckily the lady was breathing and moving around, but it was pretty scary, for sure.  We don't know the outcome, but I'm sure she is in good care now.

I made breakfast, we read the papers (like two old married people) and watched a little t.v. and cuddled.  He's returning next Friday for some of my Chicken Putanesca.

It was a glorious Friday night, Saturday morning.  AM I DREAMING?  If I am, please DON'T wake me up!

A Fish Tale

Grilled Salmon is on the menu at Mr. EX's (ok, his name is Tom)  place on Friday night.  Yummy!

As previously mentioned in my last blog, he had a friend (female, mind you) that caught (with some of her friends) 600 lbs. of salmon in Alaska.  (It was frozen and shipped to her here in LA and since she probably liked Tom so much she gave him some, ahem.)  Anyway, I will be eating the wonderful salmon on Friday night.

My contribution to his menu is a Bittersweet Chocolate Orange cake coming in at 175 calories a slice!  (NOTE: If anyone wants the recipe, please let me know.)  Along with the cake I will be bringing a wine, but not sure whether it should be a Pinot Noir (as suggested on some websites), an Italian Pino Grigio or a Californian Chardonnay.  Any suggestions would be good.......

Naturally, once again, I am nervous, beforehand.  But when I'm with him, I'm not.  Weird huh?  So we'll see how Friday night turns out.  I promise to be good and not mention anything indicating "the future, a commitment or love"......but it's very hard.  I will mention a possible day trip to a casino as I'm DYING to go to one.  He was agreeable to it the last time, so we might have to get the calendar out.

Okay, so now we all know him as Tom.  And as one of my knitting ladies said, "How's the hunk"?  He's not a hunk, but he is in good form for a 70 year old man!

On another note, I got a very long e-mail from someone that I corresponded with earlier last week.  (Needless to say, I thought he was here in SoCal, but yesterday I found out he lives in London!)  Are these guys nuts or what!!!!  He said if he found the right woman, he'd relocate since he was an American and longs to be back here.  I don't think so!

This is utterly ridiculous and my way out of this one is that I'm going back to my ex (well that's partially true).  Tom is good for a lot of things it seems.........

The Return of Mr. EX

My date with Mr. EX turned out extremely well.  And it was just like fitting into an old shoe.  We took up right where we left off talking about family, relationships, on-line dating, sports, movies, books, food, good wines and that unforbidden word SEX.  Our dinner was delicious and to make it even better, he treated!  What more can a gal ask for?

Now to the clarification of our relationship......friends or friends with benefits?  Try the latter.  Ahem......quite wonderful, sweetly romantic and very comfortable. 

In terms of his 'others', well they didn't quite work out for him and he has no one 'waiting in the wings' currently.  Interesting huh?  Maybe his roving eyes have stopped roving?  I don't think so, but he's still nice to be with and my night last night was 'over the moon'....and there just happened to be a full moon in the sky as well.

But it's not over.  It seems a friend of his went fishing in Alaska and caught over 600 pounds of salmon, and guess who's barbequing (is that spelled right?) for me next week?  Not 600 lbs. mind you!  Yes we stopped in Williams Sonoma on the Mall and he bought some smoked wooden planks and invited me to dinner.  Just like that! 

So I guess good things do happen to those who wait.  Now to buy a nice bottle of white wine and come up with a dessert.  It will be interesting, yet fun, to see how my 'friends with benefits' scenario plays out in the next few weeks.

The 'UnThinkable"

Out of the blue, I received a 'wink' from Mr. EX on one of the dating sites.  I winked back.  He e-mailed back.  (Note: he said he really didn't think I'd answer him.)  It turns out we're having sushi dinner on Friday night.  Ovey and Yikes:  what did I get myself into now! 

Can we just have dinner with no strings?  Can we just be friends?  He seemed friendly in the e-mail.  But we all know how changeable, fickle and devious he can be.

So why am I constantly drawn to this guy?  I think it's a combination of a lot of things:  he was my first date after losing my husband, we dated for 6 weeks, I can't get this guy out of my head and the age old question:  why do good girls fall for bad boys?

Well, it will be interesting to see how this will play out.  With all the losers I've been getting messages from, this date will feel like a comfortable, old shoe.  It will be like meeting an old girlfriend for dinner.  I mean we did have things in common except he has roving eyes and I don't. 

I know I'll be getting yelled at from some of you (and you know who you are) but hey, life is meant to be lived!  Wish me luck!!!

Is Anyone Normal Anymore?

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY!

Freedom.  That's what our country is all about.  That's what I feel this morning.  Liberated!

I have finally severed ties with the last two 'losers' that were constantly sending me IM's and e-mails.  The first one, Senor J, was annoying.  He kept asking me if I was religious and if I went to church, etc.  It's really none of his business.  The second one was even worse.  (I shall call him Mr. NoName.)  He kept sending me morning and night e-mails (in poetry format) telling me he has met the 'love of his life'.  Really now!

IS ANYONE NORMAL ANYMORE?  Are these guys that pathetic?  It's a good thing I don't take any of these guys too seriously.  It's all just getting ANNOYING! 

So in order to feel 'free' on this Independence Day, I e-mailed Senor J yesterday and told him a big fat lie....I have gone back with my ex.  Ditto for Mr. NoName.  Am I being mean?  No, I don't think so.  The problem is I'm being TOO NICE!  When I get these e-mails from these 'un-normals', I should just hit the DELETE button!  Remind me to do so.......PLEASE!

Stay safe everyone (and smart)!