Some Thoughts

Why do I get all butterflies in my stomach each time I think of Mr. EX?  (Maybe I should start calling him Mr. NOW?)  Is all of this dating, searching, blogging a big waste of time?  Are things not what they seem?  Is it all a big waste of time?  Do things happen when you least expect them to?

Questions, questions, questions.  Anyway, we have a 'tentative' meeting for sushi dinner sometime next week. I just shot him an e-mail to find out when.  We'll see if he bites or doesn't.  So was last Friday night all a big dream?  It was a good night and another experience to put in my memory bank.

However, it was a difficult weekend for me because it was the first anniversary of my husband's passing.  I managed to get through keeping busy, but when I see/hear certain movies/songs, I cry.  No matter who I date and who I see, I'll never forget the man that made me who I am today.  I was his Eliza Doolittle to his Professor Higgins.  I was blessed to have him in my life and will never forget him.

In the meantime, Mr. NOW and I continue our on again/off again path down the road to some sort of a relationship........whether it be friends, boyfriend/girlfriend or friends with benefits.  Anyway, it will be an adventure to store in my RAM.

Friends with Benefits??

As mentioned in a previous blog, Mr. EX and I had dinner last night and it turned out to be very, very nice.  He paid too.  Apparently with his treat for dinner, he thought he would get 'paid back' with a hop in the sack.  No siree baby was my answer.  I do have principles and I told him that flat out.  He understood.  We went to one of the local pubs for a nightcap, then I drove home ALONE!

I am so proud of myself that I did not succumb to his invitation to bed.  Although.....he seems different:  Quieter, pensive, humble.  He did say he was so sorry that he caused me so much pain when he 'dumped' me back in January.  We do plan to 'date' again as this is what he called what was last night's meeting.  News to me.  I thought it was just dinner with a friend.  Another phrase that came up (which I'm not sure I can quite put my arms around)  FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS.  I know what it means but am not sure if it's the right thing for me.  Here are some thoughts rolling around in my head.

1.  For some reason I can't get this guy out of my mind;
2.  Friends with Benefits might not be too bad simply because I really don't know if I want to make a
     commitment with someone now or ever for that matter;
3.  I had the only true love of my life;
4.  I like sleeping alone.

All of these make a good argument to favor Friends with Benefits.  However, if I'm taking that risk, how many "inkwells" would Mr. EX have dipped his nib in?  Hmmmmm.........


Anyway, we e-mailed this morning.  Planning another sushi dinner next month.  (I feel like I'm in a book club but this is a sushi club.)  We also talked about going for a drive to a casino in July.  Interesting stuff, but still uneasy and unsure.  I have to go into this situation with my eyes WIDE OPEN!

The Return of Mr. EX

The other night in my inbox I found an e-mail from Mr. EX.  Yes, he wants to have sushi again.  That's fine.  Although why am I always asking myself, "maybe he'll want to 'settle down' now".  AM I NUTS!!!  This man is fine for a friend but anything more is TROUBLE with a capital "T".  Ya think?  So it turns out he's away all week at a golf tournament but we've scheduled sushi dinner for Friday evening.  You can bet I'll be in the bathroom most of the day.  Why does this man make me crazy?  Is it because good girls always fall for bad boys?  

On another front, the nice man I met last week continues to be nice and not overbearing, thank God!  We spoke twice since we had lunch and a new meeting has been arranged for 5/31.  We talk about food and our grandkids and that's a good thing.  Do I find that we have 'chemistry' (with a capital "C"), not yet but that's fine. One step at a time.......

In the meantime, headed for a busy week but Friday's sushi meeting is lurking in the background.  I wonder if I should ask if he wants to go for a nightcap at the local pub?  At any rate, I should be wearing a large "C" on my chest:  "C" for CRAZY!!!!!!!
 

Brief Encounter

This new man turned out to be a real sweetheart.  His wife passed away 10 years ago and he raised all 4 of his children by himself.  He is very down to earth, very gregarious and sociable.  (Doesn't those two words have the same meaning?)  Anyway, we had a very nice lunch together and he even treated!  Afterward, we took a walk around the mall and went into Williams Sonoma.  It turns out he likes to cook and even makes home-made ravioli!  I might have to consider keeping this one!  It really felt as if I knew him a  long time.

He telephoned me last night and we chatted for about 20 minutes.  I will call him on Sunday evening.  The questions is:  what else is there to do the next time we meet?  I guess we could always go to lunch or dinner but I don't want him to think he's supposed to treat again.  Those are the usual dates and there's always the movies.  However, if you want to get to know someone, the movies is not a good idea.  Perhaps we could go shopping at Costco?  He lives a 1/2 a mile away.

Well, one step at a time I guess.

First Meeting

Why is it right before I meet someone new, I spend the whole morning in the bathroom?  I mean it's only a 'first meeting'.  However, I suppose it is very scary meeting someone new....sort of like a job interview, or a road test or any of the difficult, awkward scenarios we experience in our life.

I go through the motions of getting ready (body lotion, matching perfume, extra make-up, fix hair), but let's face it:  you are who are inside as well as outside, and if it doesn't 'click' it just doesn't click.  To paraphrase a recent book/movie, "He's Just Not That IntoYou"; it's true.  If the chemistry is not there, it's just not there.

Such a big word:  CHEMISTRY.  According to the definition of 'chemistry' in Wikipedia, it is:  the scientific study of interaction.  Interaction:  I guess that's what it's all about...the interaction of one person with another person.  The conversation, the same interests, the same values, the same age range, the same frame of mind, etc.  However, isn't it like this with every person we meet in our lifetime?  That's what makes humans so special and different from animals. It's all about interaction.

Well, 'wagons ho' and got to get ready for the 'first meeting'.  Until tomorrow........

The Last Time?

Lunch with a "newbie" on Thursday.
I spoke to him 3x on the phone.  Sounds nice and interesting, but we'll see.  Looks a little like a teddy bear.  We're supposed to have lunch on Thursday.  But if the 'chemistry' is not there, it's just not there.  We'll see.


Getting back to the title of this blog, however.  If this lunch meeting doesn't work out on Thursday, this is the last time I will be 'cyber dating' for a while.  I've since made a step in the right direction since I have dropped my membership in Match.com.  It was just too, too expensive.  The other sites are ok (since they are free) and I'll 'pop' in and out of them from time to time. 

I hope you don't mind my complaining.  But this whole dating process is just annoying.  It was not nearly as complicated when I was 17 years old, that's for sure!  Picking someone out, winking, sending an e-mail, hoping you'll get an answer back, waiting for a phone call.  Three words come to my mind:  WHO NEEDS IT!  Am I getting old and crochity(sp<?).....probably.  But I've got enough things in my life right now to keep me busy and happy.

Stay tuned for another post......after Thursday!

Location, Location, Location

I wrote to someone on Match.com on Saturday morning and got an answer in a few hours.  He lives in Beverly Hills, which I don't think is too far away.  Anyway, his answer was bizarre.  He told me that he doesn't drive on the freeways and walks to work.  He said it would be 'prohibitive' of him to meet me because he never takes the freeways.  HELLO!!!!  Is this guy kidding me?  Is he living in the 21st century or what?  Why did he even bother putting himself on a dating website at all?  The website lets you put on how many miles you'd want to meet someone from your own home.  I don't recall what he posted about that, but I should re-read it because it must have said 2 miles!!!

I can see if he was very old and did not feel secure in driving, but he was only in his mid 60's!   Seriously.

So bottom line:  you certainly meet some lulu's on these websites.....good, bad, ugly, handsome and WEIRD!

Freebies

For those of you who asked, here are some FREE dating websites:  Plentyoffish.com, Okcupid.com and here's one I just joined today, Zoosk.com.  However, here's a tip:  after looking it over (after I joined) it looks like it's NOT free after all.  It's $12.49 a month for the least expensive membership.  I DO have to say it is cheaper than Match.com though.

Basically they are all the same.  Looking at hundreds and hundreds of faces and hundreds and hundreds of descriptions.  It can get very time consuming and mindless and makes you ask the question:  "Why am I doing this"?

Well, we'll see what Zoosk.com brings forth.  Stay tuned for the next episode in the land of Cyberspace!

The Waiting Game

I know I haven't blogged in a while.  Shame on me.  This is a new month and I have decided to quit Match.com.  I'm tired of waiting around to see if someone is going to call or e-mail.  I'm not 16 years old anymore and have to wait for a man to make me happy.  I am my own person and have my own identity and don't need a man to make things more complicated.  In addition to quitting Match.com because of the above reasons, I will be also saving money every month! 
Getting back to the 'waiting game':  'some', or should I say 'most' men are just flaky.  For instance, this 'new kid on the block' said he was going to call on Sunday night....but he didn't.  I'm DONE!
However, on another note, I do still belong to two other dating sites (both free I might add), so my blog will continue on......at least I won't be paying for it anymore more though!
More tomorrow or sometime soon..........